Yes, You Are Good Enough!
Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
There are days when I look at Proverbs 31 and think “how can any woman be that type of wife. This woman is superwoman!” She gets up early before the sun rises (I can barely pull myself out of bed at 6:30am) to cook for her family and servants, she makes her family clothes (I can’t even sew), keeps the household in order, watches her words carefully, works outside the home, takes care of her husband and respects him, gardens, etc. This is no lazy woman!
How many times have we compared ourselves to other people and simply got the feeling like we didn’t measure up? I think everyone has done it at one time or another. We observe how others work at our place of employment or how well they take care of their family or keep their homes clean and then compare it with ourselves and instantly see where we are lacking. This can even happen in our recovery. Sometimes we move full speed ahead and then fall back for a bit while someone else continues moving full speed ahead. The worst part is when we know we are trying but others will make mention of our shortcomings, knocking us back with their words. But Paul states in Acts 20:24:
“But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.”
So many times our eyes veer off our own lane to look at how others are doing, comparing ourselves with them. Many times it’s when we are falling behind, stumbling or having a bad day or when someone else comes along who is more organized, knows more or simply seems to have it altogether. This is when the enemy will magnify our problems, difficulties and shortcomings, causing us to lose focus and compare ourselves with others. Once we can see others moving ahead in the race, we have one of two choices to make. We can either become discouraged and stop or we can re-shift our focus back in our own lane and continue on.
The Proverbs 31 wife is not a perfect woman. She is simply one who follows the Word of God and does what it says. She really is no different than any of us. She respects her husband and takes care of him and their family, She gets up early and provides for the needs of her family with clothes and food, she works outside the home to help out when needed, she gardens, she is strong physically from the work yet is strong emotionally and in spirit, she is honorable and helps the poor and the needy, she is wise and speaks kindly to others. But the most important thing is she uses her time wisely. She doesn’t spend countless hours on her phone, computer or tablet and on things that will distract her and take up most of her time. This is a big problem in the world we live in now and not just for a woman but for all people. We say we don’t have time to do things but we waste so much time with other things that don’t really matter and the things that do matter we allow it to fall to the side.
Everyone’s lives are different so to compare ourselves to others is setting ourselves up for failure. Not everyone moves at the same speed. Not everyone grows at the same rate. Yet we all have the ability to run this race to achieve the prize at the end. In Paul’s case, he was talking about overcoming the struggles when sharing the gospel and doing what God has called him to do. He had many obstacles but God’s grace got him through it so by the end of his life, he ran the race and won. He kept his focus in his own lane, concentrating on the work the Lord had given him to do. He didn’t compare himself with others trying to measure up or look better. Nor did he feel badly if some were succeeding more than him. He rejoiced because it was all for the kingdom. And that’s the attitude we all have to have…it’s all for the kingdom and everyone is given a job to do. Your job may be to take care of your family and that can cover a multitude of areas. It doesn’t mean you can never relax and have fun, but it does mean you use your time wisely. Someone else’s job may be to uplift people they meet on a daily basis while another person may be more in the spotlight preaching and teaching. Others may be assigned to keep buildings clean, keep the streets clean, work in the medical field, help others recover from their addictions and struggles, work in a store, and the list goes on. All of these jobs and more are necessary to keep the world going. They are necessary to help others. They are necessary because God assigned you to it. In any of these positions, we can help share the gospel of Christ and be a light for Him. But when we start comparing ourselves with others, that’s when our focus is removed from God and put upon ourselves and others.
So, what about the Proverbs 31 wife? How do we, as women, achieve this? Notice I said women and not married women? The Proverbs 31 character can be achieved by all women. Many women may have families, but it’s not their own family. They may not be married but they are part of a family or a friend’s family where they can help out. They can extend their hand to the needy, they can respect the head of another home, they can work to help provide for others if need be, they can be honorable and strong emotionally and spiritually, they can be hard workers, they can be wise and speak kind words to others, etc. I had an aunt who never married, but she extended her hand to our family in times of need. She spent time with us, took care of us when needed, and loved us as if we were her own family. She may have had her faults but it didn’t take away the good she did for our family and others in her siblings families. The characteristics that we see in Proverbs 31 can apply to all women and it’s not impossible to achieve. It merely takes getting our priorities straight, using our time wisely, and most importantly applying the Word of God.
If you are comparing yourself to others…STOP! God created you uniquely and for a purpose. If you can see where you need improvement…CHANGE! We all need to change something within ourselves. Becoming a proverbs 31 woman isn’t hard to do, it just takes practice. Once we begin to make that change, it will become second nature over time. Yet, we must stop comparing ourselves to others and keep our eyes in our own lane. You are good enough and are in this race for a reason…for the kingdom. It’s not about perfection or being a superwoman. It’s about doing the work God has called us to do and completing the race.