Breaking The Chains Biblical Recovery Ministry

Forgiveness In Difficult Times

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

                                                  (Matthew 6:14-15)

 One of the most difficult things to do is to learn the fine art of forgiveness. When we are in pain from hurts that others have caused us, the last thing we want to do is to forgive. If truth be told, some of our first thoughts are about retaliation in words and for some, in action. This would make us feel better temporarily but soon we would begin feeling badly for the retaliation and then comes the guilt and then the pain of their words or action all over again. That is how the enemy works because those are his traits…anger and retaliation then to make us feel worse through guilt…and those are traits we do not want to have.

Christ stressed forgiveness because He knew the hold and the damage anger and pain could have on us. He knew how our adversary, the devil, worked, using it to destroy us and keep us from entering into the Kingdom of Heaven. The enemy knows that if we do not forgive others, God would not for us and therefore we could not be with God for all eternity. The verse above clearly states that if we forgive others God will forgive us, but if we do not forgive others then God will not forgive us of our own sins. The enemy is good at trying to deceive us with excuses like “Surely God understands the hurt and pain your husband has caused you with his drinking! There is no way God could forgive such a man and neither should you!” or “God knows you have been a good friend to this woman and now she’s betrayed and hurt you and doesn’t even seem to care even after you’ve talked to her. Why should you continue trying to resolve this? Surely God sees what is happening and she will be judged…let Him deal with her and be done with it!” We have all been through difficulties with others where thoughts like these and others pop into our heads. Rest assured those thoughts are definitely not from God because they contradict what Scripture tells us:

Matthew 18:20-22

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"  Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Forgiveness releases you from the torment anger and pain can cause. We must surrender every negative thought and feeling to Christ and ask that He take it from us because we are not strong enough to handle it and it does nothing but make us spiritually and physically ill.

2 Corinthians 10:5

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

It has been said that the people and circumstances the enemy uses to take us down, God uses to build us up and strengthen us. This is so true! During some major spiritual healing that I went through close to 2 years ago, the very things that caused me pain either since I was young or during the course of my marriage was the very situations the Lord put in front of me in order to strengthen and heal me. This took well over a year for me to get through and I’m still healing but the healing process is much better now and I have been strengthened by it. There were moments during that time that I wanted to walk away but I didn’t. Instead when the pain got too much, I dropped to my knees and cried out to God for help and healing and He heard me. I had to go through the pain in order to draw close to Him, learn how to trust Him, wait upon Him and to know where to find my comfort. I had to learn how to truly forgive from the heart and that was something I struggled with for years when someone hurt me. Forgiveness was not my strong suit and God had to teach me how to forgive and that meant putting me in the very situations that caused me pain for years. Don’t think for a minute the enemy had left me alone because that was his time to torment me with thoughts and circumstances. He is quite the deceiver and can make things look very real during those times but God allows it for a reason. We will face the same difficulties over and over until we learn how to forgive from the heart, so if you find yourself going throhe same situations over and over, there is a lesson to be learned! Consider it like basic training. In order to train the new recruits for battle, they have to have an opposing force going against them to try and defeat them. That is where the learning comes in and I can honestly say the enemy did his job well. Unfortunately he still continues to oppose so I take the training I’ve learned, surrendering all to God and praying for strength and healing, read the word of God out loud and remember what type of enemy who is opposing me…one Christ called “the father of lies” and battle until the battle is over. There are times I am wounded in the battle with thoughts, or words and actions from others and can fall but I go to Christ, the great physician, and receive healing. Forgiveness is the key to healing and if we want to be forgiven by our Heavenly Father we must forgive others as well.

During the most difficult times, the Lord is our refuge, our rock. He is the one we must lean on and trust when we are faced with circumstances and situations that test our forgiveness and love for others. He will save us from the attacks of the enemy and rescue us from the words and actions of others:

Psalm 18:1-3

I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies.

He will remove the pain and bring forgiveness and love into our hearts when we go to Him and surrender it to Him. He will do His part but we must do ours…surrender it and make amends, when possible, with others:

Matthew 5:23-24

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.  

I say “when possible” because there are times when we may have been impatient with a stranger and later we are not able to make amends, or we no longer have contact with someone whom we chose not to forgive years ago. During these circumstances is when we go directly to the Lord and repent of our sins, our words and actions against this person, and ask for forgiveness. Then we must express to God our forgiveness of this person and ask God to remove any pain or unforgiveness that remains in our hearts and to cleanse our hearts. There may be times your forgiveness for this person may be tested by thoughts of this person to see how you react and if you’ve truly forgiven. If these thoughts produce pain and anger later on, surrender it to the Lord. Continue to do so every time these thoughts come to you and you feel any negative emotion. You will know you are finally healed and have truly forgiven when the thoughts of this person and what they did to you can come to your mind and you have no negative thoughts or emotion about it. You simply see it as something that happened long ago and pray for their well being.

Finally, pray for those who have hurt you. Christ calls us to love and pray for our enemies.

Matthew 5:43-48

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you:

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

What we don’t always realize is that our prayers can help change their hearts and draw them to God. Praying for your enemies or those who harm you can bring healing and forgiveness into your own heart.

We serve a great and powerful God; one who is loving, understanding and forgiving. We must do everything we can to have those same traits and we can achieve this through prayer, reading the bible, renewing our minds and putting these traits into action.

Heavenly Father, I praise you for all that you do for me. I thank you for the love and forgiveness you give to me even when I hurt you and don’t deserve it. Father, teach me how to be as loving and forgiving as you are. Strengthen me daily in my walk and bring to mind your words about love and forgiveness whenever I am tempted with negative thoughts when I am harmed by words or actions of others. Remind me of the times when you have forgiven me whenever I’ve hurt You or someone else and how I must love and pray for my enemies and those who hurt me. Plant the seeds of love and forgiveness so deep within my heart and seal it with the blood of Jesus so that the enemy can’t steal them. Teach me your ways, oh Lord, so that I may enjoy this life and be with you for all eternity. I pray this in the name of Jesus, Amen!

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