Allowing God, And Your Husband, To Lead The Way
But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.(1 Corinthians 11:3)
It’s amazing what God uses to minister something into your life that is currently happening. When we listening carefully, He will speak to us what we need to know using any situation, good or bad.
My husband and I have been praying about a decision we needed to make since last year. As we both had been coming to the same conclusion, we knew the answer, but hadn’t taken the initiative to put it into action. We’ve been through something similar several years ago and I was the one dragging my feet at the time, but now it was both of us. Though we did have our own reasons, we also wanted to make sure we were hearing God clearly and that we were making the decision for the right reason and not out of flesh. But prior to our meeting, God spoke loud and clear through a sermon we had heard and my husband knew it was time to make that decision. So we made an appointment with the person we needed to discuss our decision with.
On the day of our appointment, a snow storm was expected but looking at the radar, we felt we had time. My husband called me and told me to head out early as it was snowing where he was, which was halfway to the place of our meeting…45 minutes away from our home. Though I hit a whiteout on my way, it quickly passed.
After our meeting, my husband and I went separate routes as he needed to get gas and I was going to go home. Once I turned onto our main road, however, the weather took a turn for the worse and I found myself in a complete whiteout. On top of that it was now night time which made it even more difficult. It was so bad, I found myself crossing over into the other side of the road as I could hear my tires go over the rumble strips. I then had to cross back over and try to not to go to far over to the right side as I couldn’t see that way as well. Knowing there were people ahead of me on my side, I tried to drive slowly so I wouldn’t hit them, but when you can’t even see them, it’s even worse. A couple of times I found myself come to a complete stop because I could see nothing and fear hit me, but I knew this was even more dangerous as someone could hit me from behind. This thought caused me to force myself to continue on. I called out to Jesus a couple times now for help because I knew I was in danger. Though I was afraid to take my eyes off the road, the road that I couldn’t see, I looked to my left and saw that it was actually clear due to the way the wind was blowing. I then recognized where I was and realized that not far away was a parking area. A couple of minutes later I pulled into the parking area as did a couple other drivers. I called my husband to warn him about the weather and where I was. After I told him, he said he wasn’t far behind me and to look in my rear view mirror at the car flashing its lights. He was right behind that car. He then pulled in beside me and I told him that I couldn’t see anything and he said he knew the area where it happened because it affected his visibility as well but now the storm wasn’t as bad and he could see better. I told him he would have to lead the way home because I still couldn’t see well and I knew he was a better driver in this type of weather. He said for me to follow him and we would remain on the phone. I followed him out of the parking area and though the snow had let up some, I was still nervous driving as the visibility was a bit difficult still but definitely not as bad as before. He calmly talked me through it and said “just stay within my tail lights and you will be fine”. I did what he said and soon the snow eased up to the point I said “you don’t have to stay on the phone with me, I’m good now.” He replied “no, let’s stay on the phone until we get home”. I was good with that as it was comforting. Not long after, we pulled into our driveway safely.
It may seem like a tedious story, but this whole situation ministered to me greatly in a couple ways. I was grateful for God using my husband to calm my fears and lead us home. I also realized God had used my husband to lead us in making the decision for the situation we had been praying about when I couldn’t see as well and was hesitant to make a move. Though we were both dragging our feet, he was the one who knew it was time and made the decision to move forward. He knew because he could see the situation more clearly than I could and hear God more clearly. Because of this, I wanted him to lead the way which allowed him to move into position. Before he could do this, I had to admit I needed the help. There was a time I wasn’t very good at this due to my pride and self-centeredness, and had the mind frame of “I don’t need a man to help me”. God had to put me through some difficult situations which humbled me to the point where I had to admit that yes, I need God’s help, my husband’s help and other people’s help.
Though God can do anything, we have to admit we need His help and allow Him to move into position and take the lead. We have to admit that we are not in control of our situations or life for that matter. With God it’s either all or nothing. We either allow Him to lead fully or not at all.
In a marriage, there has to be team work. If we feel we can do everything ourselves and don’t have to rely on anyone, then it’s not a true marriage. Instead it’s pride and self-centeredness. This doesn’t mean we lose our independence. As wives, we make decisions every day regarding our family. The Proverbs 31 wife was far from being a helpless, controlled woman. She not only took care of the home and her family, she worked outside the home as well. She was a blessing to her husband as we see in Proverbs 31:11-12:
11The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.
In a true marriage, you don’t compete with each other. Instead, you lift each other up and move forward together. You may not always agree on everything, but you come to an agreement together.
Driving home, following my husband, I realized how grateful I was for him and all that he does. It wasn’t always this way for either of us, but once we moved closer to Christ and accepted His ways, He soon corrected us and renewed our minds by teaching us the right way. Society tends to teach that one person is better than the other. In this day and age, women must be stronger and more capable than ever, not needing anyone’s help, especially the help of a man. I used to think that way, but thanks to God, He showed me the truth. In a true marriage, we need to rely on each other because none of us have only strengths. We have weaknesses as well. Those weaknesses do not define who we are. It doesn’t mean we are a weak person. It simply means we are human and can’t do it all and need the support and assistance of others at times. I’ve accepted my role as a woman, who God has made me to be. I’ve come to realize there are some things my husband is better at than I am and there are some things I am better at than he is, so we work together which balances our marriage. Though pride tries to rise up at times when I think I’m right and tempts me to voice it loudly as I used to, I now take it to the cross and pray about it. I then talk to my husband again. Yes, there are times my flesh wins over, but my husband and I are at a point in our marriage where we are quick to forgive and realize we aren’t that old creature anymore as it states in 2 Corinthians 5:17:
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
In order for me to submit to God and allow Him to be in the driver’s seat of my life, I have to trust that He will do what is right for me. I have to trust Him fully. This also means I have to trust the one whom He and I chose to lead our family which would be my husband. This doesn’t mean I lose the right to voice my opinion or make decisions as many seem to think. Ephesians 5:22-33 is all about respect and love between a husband and wife, not control. Sadly, man, with the help of the enemy, twisted it. It’s about order because there has to be order for anything, especially a family, to run smoothly. That is how God intended it to mean….love, respect and order.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might [a]sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, [b]of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
I am grateful for the leading of my husband. I am grateful God used him to lead me home safely and to follow through with a tough decision we had to make. I know his strengths and his weaknesses. We all have them. The difference now is that I can appreciate him even more than I did before simply because I listened to and followed God’s direction.